Tuesday, April 3, 2012
So working this week on putting all of the pieces of myself back where they belong. Divorce isn't easy on the self-esteem. (That's a huge understatement!) It's a huge magnifying glass on all of your weaknesses & failings. It's really been hard on every aspect of me. But I've been doing my best. And I've had tremendous help. I've been literally carried through this by the Lord & family & friends & loved ones. Cameron's been a great support. Sounds ironic, but I couldn't have gotten through this without his help & support. Family has been so kind & understanding. Friends have been so sweet, making me laugh & smile when I needed it. Okay so, in order to get myself back together, I need to focus on what I have done well. Sorry if this is annoying, but I have to document what I have done or am doing right since I spend most of the time thinking about how I've messed up or what I still need to do better. I've been doing my best to make good choices. I haven't been perfect, but I haven't done badly. I haven't argued or been angry with Cameron. We've discussed things but there's been no fighting or anger. A miracle, really. I've been working to help with everything & he has too. We've been able to work things out easily because we both want the other to be happy. I haven't given in to depression or hopelessness. It's threatened to pull me down, but I haven't given in & the Lord's kept my head above water. Each week's been better & easier than the last. A very good sign! I shouldn't be impatient. It'll all come together. The kid's are doing very well. Life's been going on as usual, mostly. Things are going well & next week will be easier than this week.