Sunday, February 12, 2012
I'm so much better this morning. Even though it's usually true that I do better in the morning and have a rough time before going to sleep. That will probably still be true for a while. But I think I might finally be ready to take that last step back. You know how 2 yr olds act when they're tired but refuse to go to sleep. And they fight it with every ounce of their little selves, crying & throwing a fit? But then when they let go and fall asleep, they sleep so peacefully and wake up so happy. That's what I've been doing these last 3 weeks. Fighting with every ounce of myself not to have to let go. But I have to step back a little more and leave those I love so much in Heavenly Father's hands. I keep praying hard every day that He will hold them tight and carry them though their life. And I have to pray hard for Heavenly Father to hold me just as tightly and carry me through my life too. Cause there's no other way I can make it. The thing is, He's always carrying me and all of His children. I just need more faith to see it and more faith to put myself and all I love and want in His hands. It's the only way I can have everything. The only way I can be with everyone I love and the only way I can have everything I want. There's no other way. My way will just make a mess of things. So I'm putting everyone & everything in His hands and taking one more step back. I won't love anyone any less. In fact I will love them more because I will be doing it the right way. And the Lord fills us with more love, not less.